Behold

Happy 2023. I’m nearly a month late with that now, which is hard to believe. At the last update, we were on the doorstep of Christmas, awash in the busyness of the season. Now were a month into the new year, reminded that the busyness is not so much of a seasonal condition.

Jennings and I made our most recent check-up trip to Memphis a couple of weeks ago. His first one since back in October. As mentioned last post, we had a couple unplanned visits to the clinic that gave us interim CBC results, but we have not had a chimerism check since October. That’s the longest stretch since relapse.

We flew in on a Tuesday late in the afternoon. I found myself increasingly frustrated with the Patient Services department by issues that could be easily fixed by communicating or small incremental investments in the patient experience. A new shuttle service had no idea where to go and took a 20-minute detour by trying to use the wrong entrance into campus. Housing was maxed out, so we stayed on Beale Street again. We walked to the cafeteria hoping to grab an early dinner before shuttling over to Beale Street. The entrance that has been the only entrance for patients post-Covid is now closed after hours (but no sign or way to know this before walking all the way inside) and we had to walk back around the outside of the hospital to another entrance. Made it into the caf only to discover that the only food available was the “taco Tuesday” station. Not feeling cafeteria tacos, we took the shuttle to the hotel where we got another pair of the trusty ear plugs to drown out Beale. We walked down to Huey’s for dinner, a local burger joint where a single act of kindness melted all of my frustrations away. Our server asked if we were local, which led to why we were in town. When he brought our check a few minutes later, he had rung us up for $5.

The next day we had two whole appointments. A lab draw and a clinic visit. That’s a long way to go for about an hour’s worth of total medical related activity, but I’m thankful they care enough to want that to happen.

Clockwise from top left: the family class clown; his first solo (no mommy or daddy) poke - had an extra nurse for back-up but he did really well; St. Jude continuing to expand by investing in research facilities…glad we’re not inpatient right now though - the first row of windows visible above the fence is the BMT unit; Jennings and his appointment buddy, Two, the Aflac duck. And yes, I confirmed the spelling of his name. “It’s Two like the numbuh two. Like, I’m numbuh one and he’s numbuh two.”

His labs looked great. Aimee had zero concerns and everyone kept saying how they couldn’t believe how tall he was. I guess to them he has grown a bit since October, but I didn’t have the heart to tell them that his 5-year-old brother is just as tall.

We were expecting to wait about a week to get his chimerism back based on what we were told and on the past couple of times. However, the following Saturday, just three days later, I was checking my email and saw I had a new MyChart test result available. I had already received and seen all of the other results, so I knew this was likely it. I was home alone (L and the kids had run out), so I said a quick prayer, took a couple of deep breaths, and opened it. 100%!! 🎉

It just so happened that Lauren and the kids were on the way to see friends whose daughter’s cancer had just returned. Puts a fine point on the verse in Romans, “rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” There is no easy side to that equation.

That’s a sampling of what we’ve been up to the past month. Left to right, top to bottom: crazy hair day at school!; painting the master bedroom…from a very dark blue…3 coats - thank the Lord for podcasts; family walk on the greenway to confirm a) Charlotte cannot ride a bike for more than 5 minutes and b) hoverboards off pavement are a bad idea; we can destroy a Mexican restaurant; Henry dressed himself; finally got that snowtubing day in…only took a year 😂

This new year, I’ve been struck by our ever-changing circumstances and our general lack of control over said circumstances. God, on the other hand, is unchangeable. Everything that is true about Him is always true, his attributes are always there. We tend to forget certain truths about God, to doubt them, or worse yet, to behave out of unbelief in them. I’ve reflected on how often our circumstances can reveal these areas of forgetfulness and unbelief.

I tend towards harshness and anger with the kids, especially when I feel overwhelmed by circumstances, or they thwart my desire for peace in circumstances. I’m working on that. My word for 2023 is Behold. I want to behold God more regularly, in moments of unbelief or doubt in his truths. I am especially focusing on the truth that God is gracious. He has grace for me in my moments of failure. If can recall that, I have a chance at showing that same grace towards the kids (or others) and perhaps preventing some of those moments from culminating in an angry failure.

Why do I share all this, you ask? Well, fair question. I process through writing - that is probably the honest answer. This happens to be the place where I (make myself) come once a month to do that regularly. It forces me to stop, reflect, and organize my thoughts. I then proceed to disorganize them and dump them onto this page. You are welcome.

Thanks for starting another year with us. Please continue to pray for Jennings and his long-term healing. We are on a break from check-ups until mid-May…a confluence of circumstances led to us rescheduling his 2-year annual follow up from the usual spring break dates in April and the next available was a month later. But we will still be back in a month or so, Lord willing, with family updates and random musings.

“And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another.” 2 Corinthians 3:18

#allinforjennings