Bittersweet
Our time here in Memphis is coming to a close. It is hard to believe. Today is Day +91. Jennings and I have been here since NYE. We have spent every day of 2021 in this place. And, at times, looking back, it feels that it has flown by.
By God’s grace, we are able to leave here the only way we hoped we would. Jennings is in remission, and he is healing and recovering very well from the transplant. I find myself hesitating to write that last sentence down, especially in a place others will read it. Such is the emotional and spiritual toll that pediatric cancer takes on parents.
His labs this week look great and his chimerism from last week is still 100%. We are waiting on a few results and procedures over the next week and a half, hence some of the hesitation. From this week, we await his chimerism result and the results from a CT he had yesterday on his lungs. The hope there is that the fungal nodules are gone and if not gone, then shrinking. Next week, he will have his “Day +100” bone marrow aspirate on Monday, technically Day +95 for J. We will wait on MRD and chimerism results for that. If those are good, we will have his central line removed next Friday, June 18th before leaving for Charlotte. Currently, his only “issue” is a fairly bad cough that he picked up from the twinks. Parainfluenza. Sounds worse than it is apparently, as it is similar to the common cold virus and usually resolves itself in 7-10 days.
Assuming all stays well over the next week and a half, we will carry out the plan I mentioned last week. I’ll be driving Lauren, Caroline, Charlotte, and Henry back to Charlotte on Saturday. I’ll fly back to Memphis, then Jennings and I will drive back the following Saturday, June 19th. So these are our last couple of days here as a family. Perhaps that prompted Jennings creativity last weekend. He had his walkie talkie with silly putty smashed all around the strap. Into the silly putty, he had mushed two mini figs. He told me that one was mommy and one was daddy, and that he would use it to remind himself of us when we are apart. He said, “I gave one of dem a mean face….cause you’re kinda mean.”
After writing last week about being ready to head home, the fact that this is our last week here as a family hit us. We became connected to Memphis overtime during our first extended stay, but those connections have become extremely deep over the past six months. So much so that it feels like a lot of the good in our lives right now is here. We have found a church that is a true picture of heaven, we know our way around without GPS, we have favorite restaurants, favorite outings, and we have people. We have family and a life in Charlotte, too. It just makes it hard to leave a place where we have become so comfortable and a place where we feel sense of comfort and safety with Jennings.
So, with bittersweet affections, we began to experience all our Memphis favorites one more time with an acute awareness that it would be the last time for (hopefully) a long time.
Clockwise from top left: one of the last times with all four playing in the “alley” as they call it behind Sean’s house. One last visit from Ms. Lee and Mr. Dave…had them over for a chaotic dinner with the kids, to pray, and to say thanks for all they have done for us. One last snuggle and tickle from Miss Cafween who we have been blessed to know since she was the twins’ nanny during Transplant #1…she is a dear friend now, having come to visit in Charlotte and even accompanying us on Jennings’s Make-A-Wish trip a couple years ago. And one last trip to “that kitar guy’s house”…Jennings and Caroline at Graceland.
We had one last double date with Kelli and Pete on Sunday and I found this note on the porch. Probably not the last time we’ll get something like this:
For those of you who can’t read Caroline, I’ll dictate: “Dear Dad, small bear cried the whole time Miss Lee was here. Love Sisi” 😂
Unfortunately, it will be our last time for a while for these faves:
Top left: final trip to Jerry’s. Top right: last time taking up the entire bar at Nutrition Bar. Bottom: first, only, and last time reserving an entire movie theater to see Spirit, Untamed. We laughed like crazy while driving to that last one. Henry has been doing this thing where he he starts talking and it turns into an endless run on monologue where he strings together nonsensical phrases. At the end of it, out of nowhere and with a deadpan delivery, he says forcefully, “It was jussa joke!”
So, our family prepares to head home. We will continue to take it one day at a time. It will take some time to figure out how to do much more than that. We return tired and weary, still afraid and not out of the woods by any means. Because of that, home, routine, and returning to life in general will take some getting used to.
For now, the Palmer 6 says so long, Bluff City.
photo cred to @laurenlamphotography and idea cred to my beautiful wife & best friend, Lauren Palmer…thanks to her we have frozen so many memories like this over the years
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Prov 17:17
We have seen this so plainly throughout this trial and are incredibly grateful for the Lord’s provision.
#allinforjennings