Decisions, Decisions

We’re only a month into 2024 and Christmas feels like it was ages ago. We had a great one though, even if strep did end up taking out every one of them. They fell like dominos, one right after the other. Then the girls both had reactions to the antibiotics, so that was fun. We resorted to a sophisticated system of several sticky notes on the window above the kitchen sink to track who started which antibiotic when and at what dose.

Jennings had a couple weeks to recover, then the virus bug got him. He started running a fever the Sunday before MLK Jr. Day and missed the entire week of school. He had a fever for almost a week straight. Lauren took him mid-week and found out that he had both the flu and COVID at the same time. 🙄 There was nothing really to do for him by that point, but we were glad to know what it was. Lauren did tell me that they saw a new (to us) doctor at the pediatrician’s office that had not looked at Jennings’s history. Lauren made sure to inform her that if the virus panels came back negative, we would be doing blood work. Wish I could have seen that.

That’s a gracious plenty, but no other medical updates, cancer-related or otherwise, for Jennings.

Christmas break was such a great, relaxing time. Since the New Year, it’s felt like life has caught another gear and has just continued to accelerate. Work has gotten busier, which has been good but has made the act of juggling the personal side more of a challenge. That side in itself has been a bit weightier than normal.

Here’s everyone in their matching Christmas jammies. Mom & dad jumped on the trend this year, but I couldn’t seem to find our pictures. 😉 The center is our cleaned-up version on Christmas Eve.

I mentioned a few “big decisions” last time. Lauren & I have been carving out intentional time at the beginning of the year to plan and goal set for our family. We’ve done this for the last few years. It started out as a two-night snowy getaway in the mountains. Yes, it was as lovely as it sounds. Then last year it went to a two-night planned getaway that got cut to one very short night when 3 out of 4 got the stomach bug the first night we were away. This year, we settled for four hours outside of the house and called it a victory.

The time was well spent and fruitful. It really solidified that we have some big life things to figure out. Middle school for Caroline has been on our radar for about a year now, but it’s time to get serious if we’re doing anything other than sending her to her neighborhood / home school. One option to solve for that would be to move. We have occasionally allowed that thought to come into our minds over the past couple of years and then we have ushered it right back out. We have been in this house for over 10 years now and have some deep roots here. It has been an anchor and steady rock for our family during some turbulent times. We have done so much life and made so many memories here. It would be very hard to leave.

But, we have been here for 10 years. When we moved in, we had one 9-month old baby and had visions of eventually being a family of four. It seemed like we could never fill up all the space if we tried. Now there are six of us (an answered prayer from a very early blog post!) and the little ones just keep getting bigger. The kids are at ages and / or young enough to reacclimate and still have a solid childhood in a new home - most of their concrete memories would probably come from the new place.

So, we have decided to explore all possibilities. We are touring all kinds of schools, current neighborhood included, and we are actively seeing what is out there on the housing market. We have found promise, then run into closed doors on opportunities on both fronts. We made it so far as to put in an offer on a house last week. It didn’t work out in the end and we trust that it was for the best, but it still hurt. Now it is back to watching and waiting.

The path is not yet clear. For a couple of planners that is not how we would script it. But, the goal is to keep pursuing all avenues until the doors get shut. It’s not an easy place to be, but it’s a familiar place to be. God will make a way through and will, in His time, make that way clear. Might not be the way we would have picked, but He does promise to be with us on it.

Here’s a few from the start of the year 👇

Clockwise from top left: we’re now a biking family - all the kids got “big kid bikes” from Santa; turns out the Covid / Flu Monster is a match for Pikachu; baking Sundays are back!; we opened an office at the start of the year! - only 1 out of the 5 pictured is still employed after one day in there. Center: Jennings randomly asked to get out his memory box from treatment. Now that he can read, he got out all his beads and read what each one is for.

Reading this, it might seem like we are right back to where we were before his relapse. That in our minds he is good, and cancer is in the past. That we can safely and freely move on with life. That’s not where we are. That’s a good thing for us, and it feels good to write it down. It is a consideration in how we pursue some of the “avenues.” Sometimes it makes us question pursuing them at all. But most of all, it makes us remember that it is ok to hope and to strive to have faith in the waiting, joy in the journey.

It’s been helpful to be reading through Genesis at the start of the year and remembering all of the waiting God required of his people. God calls Abraham as he enters Canaan and promises to “make his offspring as dust of the earth” (Gen 13:16). After 10 years of being there, Abraham and Sarah become impatient and Ishmael is born. Abraham is 86 (Gen 16:16). It is another 13 years before Genesis 17 picks up and God makes His covenant with Abraham. Isaac is born a year later when Abraham is 100. Or, take Joseph, as just one more example. He interprets the dream of the cupbearer, which leads to his release from prison where he forgets to put in a good word to get Joseph out of prison (Gen 40). It is another two years of being in prison before the narrative picks back up and Joseph is given the opportunity to interpret Pharaoh’s dreams, leading to his rise to power in Egypt.

God is in the waiting. He wants us to find Him there. It is clear from His Word that it is a big part of how he works. We are praying for wisdom and discernment and contentment. And to get to April unscathed for the next (hopefully) check-the-box check up for our miracle boy.

“Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truths and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.” Psalm 25: 4-5

#allinforjennings